Just how far are you capable of bending over your beliefs to maintain your romantic relationship?
How long would you be offering yourself to avoid losing your better half? How much of yourself are you capable of compromising as to not to lose someone you care about? Exactly how do you find the harmony between preserving your ethics and bending your ideals for the person you love?
Many personal relationships would require us to bend over our ideas however, how much of ourselves are we willing to bend without losing our sense of self?
There is a natural paradox with these inquiries: A loving relationship is one where each individual accepts as well as values the difference of each other. If you need to bend your values excessively to preserve the connection between each other, what exactly are you protecting? You are not protecting a relationship at all since love does not demand that you give everything of yourself.
Instead of bending one’s values to fit and accommodate the other party, one should look at the differences of each other as an opportunity to learn from each other.
For instance, the wife has very strong work ethics and her husband tends to let go of things, which can be quite difficult especially as it concerns financial responsibility. The wife is not satisfied with this arrangement and this is where the problem lies.
A good relationship is one where both parties learn and grow with each other’s differences.
Rather than sacrificing their own beliefs, they should explore their differences and learn about how to go about it.The actual problem happens when either is not readily available for exploration and learning. If a person’s partner states, “Just accept me for who and what I am,” or will get angry or withdrawn once the other partner tries to discuss the problem, no learning can occur. Then the other partner needs either to accommodate or leave which is not a healthy situation for one
Joe is very neat, while Julia is clumsy. Roberta is definitely promptly while Celia is definitely late. Maggie always shops while David is strict with money. Carl has a high libido while Andrea has a low one. Angie is definitely an authoritarian parent while Curt is a permissive parent. Ronald is extremely social while Greg is really a homebody.
Based upon whether each individual is open to learning, these differences can lead to:
- Constant clashes between the two
- One partner always giving up avoiding conflict
- Each partner open to learning and growing consequently of the differences
The results of those conflicts depend entirely upon the intent of the parties. You will find three possible intents in almost any given moment: The intent to safeguard against discomfort or even the intent to discover love.
When either partner possesses the intent to safeguard against awkwardness, they will discover many controlling methods for staying away from coping with the disparities. They might debate, defend, withdraw, blame, surrender, resist, explain, and so forth, are all set on getting their way, not controlled through the other, or staying away from the other’s rejection. This can always result in distance and disappointment within the relationship. The issue is not about the differences but the unwillingness of both parties to face the differences and learn or grow from it.
If both parties are willing to learn about each person’s differences, it is a healthy path to further growth as well as healing for them at the same time.
We can never ask another person to be open about learning the differences, as we do not have any control over them. If you are in a relationship where the other party refuses to learn and grow, ask yourself how much you are willing to give of yourself without sacrificing your personal well-being. You can bend as long as you want and how much you want, however, if you feel that you are losing a part of yourself, then it’s time to move on. It is best to move on when you feel like this way because not doing so will make you resentful of yourself and your partner with Pull Your Ex Back Review. This end up with you not actually saving both of you but destroying what you have with each other.
